paradisaooc | PARADISA FOURTH ANNIVERSARY QUOTES: PART 4 OF 7ISH

Hey everyone! It's another day so it's time for another round of the multi-part series of Paradisa 4th Anniversary Quote Celebration!

Today the topics we are covering are: Mental Health; Intelligence & Experience; Attraction, Dating, Sex & All that Good Stuff and Play on Words!

MENTAL HEALTH

Ted: A book with identity issues. You should see a therapist for that.

Rafiki: I am not insane. You are.

Ike: Emo kid!
Kyle: Probably.
Ike: Castle took away razors ...
Kyle: I hope so, for their sake.
Ike: Tears of blood down pallid face.

Azula: I've come to realize I have abandonment issues.
Azula: ...
Azula: ugh!

Yuugi: He's my other self.
Thief King Bakura: Don't they have doctors for that sort of thing?

Kanda: I'm not in denial!
Komui: First symptom of Denial: 'persistent refusal' - check.
Kanda: Keep this up, Mugen's still sharp enough.
Komui: Symptom number two: 'threatening' - check.

Allen: Besides, they're women that like my Master! Clearly there is something wrong with their heads!

Schuldich: V.... O.... I.... C.... E...... S...
Irvine: Yeah? Stuff like that tends to happen when you have E..... a... R s

INTELLIGENCE & EXPERIENCE
Crowley: Personal experience of what? Sentient castles with an intent to drive you insane?

Clark: We've got several people in the castle who can tell you a lot more about the Joker and Harley Quinn than that video can.
Reno: And people in this place got a funny tendency to leave.

Spike: Did you just use logic?
Reno: Sick, I know.

Billy: Nobody's said anything yet, so...maybe the owner went home?
Carrie: Wonder if car jackers ever use that logic.

Joshua: Some people are stupid, but we can't go around making broad generalizations, mm?

Ino: WRITING IN BIG LETTERS DOES NOT MAKE YOU SMART

Jiraiya: You're not a person, you're an IDIOT!

Lloyd: Exactly! We're hearing stuff because we think we should be hearing stuff, right? But since we know there's not really anything out there, then we should be able to stop it if we don't think about things that might make them!
Lloyd: ... or something like that.
Ken: ...That is surprisingly existential of you.

Bruce, to Tim: Tim. I'm not going to let an eighteen year old girl pressure me into doing something I don't want to do.

Tyki: Does anyone want to define the word fergalicious for me?
Ty Lee: Sounds like something I'd be described as!

Matt: And....you're the genius? Which girl do you want to impress? It's not Kari, is it? I know both you and Tai play soccer, but you should really make sure that you can run faster first.

Naruto: But we're cool idiots!
Shikamaru: You were bound to make sense sooner or later.

Lavi: Who am I, Yuu?
Kanda: ... An idiot.

Rafiki: Dere are times when we must look past the grass on de savannah. Den we see the waterhole.

Kanda: Idiots all around.

Kanda: That sounds like sensible advice.
Axel: Heh, it is. However, it ended up failing for me because I forgot to take into account that idiotic people breed and multiply as rapidly as rabbits do.

Yugito: Agreed. Best luck to continued common sense, Beat!

Franziska: Only a fool would suggest such absolute foolishness!

Ianto: I understand, but I'm not sure why you're tellig mme this.
Diva: Haha... you can't spell.

ATTRACTION, DATING, SEX & AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF
Joshua: Didn't Kratos explain the birds and the bees?
Lloyd: ... huh?
Joshua: When you're older, Lloyd. Kissing's a part of it, but not too much.
Lloyd: ... You kissed birds and bees?

(While on a naked loss, holster placed strategically)
Abel: Maybe one of those double-sided signs people hang around their necks. Would that count as clothes? It might hang over your... um, 'holster.'
Tres: Negative. I cannot wear anything that will compromise the position of my holster, as my gun must be reachable and cocked within 0.21 seconds to be fully efficient.
Abel: No. No. Abel Nightroad, wake up. This is just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just... a... bad dream.
Tres: Efficiency is increased 12% if the gun is pre-cocked and ready to fire within 0.17 seconds.
Abel: Usually one buys me a drink before they start bragging about firing their guns... I'm going to Hell.
Tres: [He processes this remark for 0.87 seconds. Weighing all the possible alternatives for such a bizarre and unrelated statement, ranging from suffering a stroke (possibility of 1.4%) through to the most statistically probable based on the tone of voice and words used - flirting/innuendo (possibility of 54.1%).]
Homosexual relations are forbidden by Vatican law, Father Nightroad.
Abel: [CHOKESKJHKJH STAGGERS AND CATCHES HIMSELF] W-WHAT?!
Tres: Your previous statement was 54.1% flirtatious.

Travis: But...I think it was fate that I should see this.
Travis: Because...you see...
Joshua: [the smile on his face. it is huge.] What is it, Travis?
Travis: I have incredible NC-17 dreams about you every night.

Misa: HEY! WHO'S BEEN WRITING THAT MISA IS SLEEPING WITH BRAD PITT?!
And Misa does too shave her legs, often and regularly!!!!
And Misa has never done nudity, those pics are a fake!!! Just look! I mean, except don't!
Whoever is responsible, Misa is gonna break your kneecap!!

Lucy Saxon to the Second Master: Oh dear. Has the Doctor not been putting out?

Joshua: Suit yourself. As for me, I'm quite content with the fact that I haven't been kissed that well in years. It'll hold me over for quite a while.
Kratos: Pray that will never happen again, lest I send you slowly and painfully to your unfortunately temporary grave.

Joshua: Are things really that impossible between us? Out of the thousands of alternate realities out there, there wouldn't be a single Neku who would be happy - nay, honored - to wake up to the sight of myself in the same bed?
Neku: No. That'd have to be one twisted version. Insane puddle of desperation.
Joshua: Puddles?
Neku: No. Singular. Don't flatter yourself.

Gaara: . . . If I care for Naruto and not women, does it mean that I am homosexual even if I do not wish to have sex?
Reno: ...What?
Gaara: A girl told me that my attachment to Naruto makes me. . . "gay." She is quite convinced. I would ask Naruto but................
Reno: [a long pause] You're only gay if you're physically attracted to another guy, Gaara.
Gaara: [equally long pause] How would I know?
Reno: Have you ever had thoughts about being with a guy beyond friendly terms?
Gaara: ........... [quoi?]
Reno: ….
Reno: Gaara, have you ever had a sexual thought...in your life?
Gaara: ...........No.

Abel: It's perfectly natural to have fantasies about two handsome young men like Peter and I.
Esther: Father, you're hardly a handsome young man!

Ino: Do you look at my ass often?
Kiba: ...No, why would I? ... I MEAN YES. ... No?

Rin: [Uh, derp. She's just as startled (?) as he is.] Uh...
Joshua: [Oh, he's surprised too. Have a load of that face, Rin, it's limited edition and disappears... oh, now. He smirks.] ... I didn't need a kiss, Bee, but it's reassuring to know Prince Charming was around to wake me up.
Rin: [Blinks and... frowns.] If I kissed you I think I'd have to bite my own tongue out just afterward. Yuck.
Joshua: [ahahahahhaha ~~watch out Rinnikins~~] Unpleasant and sounding somewhat like a challenge. I like it.

Ino: You already had two whole weeks to look at as much porn as you want. And I know you were making the most of that time.
Dante: Let me savor the precious moments I still have left.

Dilan: I just couldn't resist Gatts. He's rather charming in a dress.

Sai: Ovulation is like penises?
Ino: ... Yes.

Jan: Oh, and fuck you, Petes.
Peter: Are you offering, Jan?

Mac: Is there like, a 80% lesbian population here?
Benio: When I am through with this place, yes.

Delysia: We didn't, did we?
Travis: I'd say it's fifty/fifty.
Delysia: I'm all for a little fun, but honestly, did you have to use handcuffs?
Travis: Whoa whoa whoa. I don't play with cuffs. Especially ones lacking a keyhole. I thought this little kink was all you.
Delysia: I may have a few kinks, but handcuffs aren't one of them.
Travis: Oh ho ho ho! Remind me to get the full scoop from you later then.

Ichigo: Renji's the one with a bigass snake for a sword! If that isn't compensating I don't know what is!
Renji: S'called advertisement, in that case.

Sai: It's big, by the way.
Sasuke: I caught you.

Lavi: Nudity?
Allen: Lavi. J-just... was that the only word you saw?

Misa: Misa thinks Lavi's hammer might be compatible with Yuu Yuu.
Lavi: Not sure about 'compatible', but it worked pretty good, keeping the guy's sword from getting just a little too close for comfort.
Misa: Everyone's first time is awkward.

Thief King Bakura: I'm not interested in either of you.
Lavi: Glad to hear it~ You're not exactly my type, either. ♥
Thief King Bakura: I try not to lead anyone on.

Kanda: I hate kids.
Lavi: Hey, it's okay if she's over ten.

Misa: Misa thinks you're a dirty boy who just likes to think about naked girls and dirty their reputations with your bad thoughts. Tsk.

Haseo: [When set up for a blind date game] "Not too bad"? I got paired with the guy that two people (or more) are trying to lynch.
Naruto: Then I suggest you be prepared to run in case they decide to step in during the date. Other than that, you're all set!

Diva: Haha... a voyeur. Please don't tell anyone about it okay? If you don't tell anyone I won't tell anyone about the forbidden love you share with your brother.
Dante: There.is.no.frobidden.love. I'd rather rip out that guys eyeballs and force them down his god damn throat.
Diva: How gruesome. Well, whatever turns you on. Everyone does their sexy stuff in different ways ♪

Jacob: This might... will sound kind of crazy, but. I feel completely drawn to you. Like our meeting was always meant to be. Like I've...Imprinted.
Bloodspill: Imprinted?
Jacob: Layman's terms would probably be like, "love at first sight."
Bloodspill: ...I'm a wolf.

Jun: [does the shh-shh-shooshy finger to mouth thing as she grins, leaning toward Delysia in a slight bit of drunken excitement] Ssshhhh, sweets. Sweets. I'll tell you my secret.
I've had an erotic dream...about someone in the castle.
Now, now I can't say who. But it's...[whispers] a woman. And, hah. And her name...Her name?
It rhymes with...Shhh...Shhhhfff...Shmalithia Famoss. [tries to be all serious.... but snickers anyway]

PLAY ON WORDS
Luke, when squeezing a melon: Hey, Tear? Are you sure this will fit? It's sort of big.
Tear: You just need to squeeze it in-- here, like this.
Luke: ... Ugh. This is harder than it looks...

Lloyd: You're not a bad influence. That place was just dumb. I mean, they freaked out when I went to the bathroom.
Jun: ...did you go in the classroom?
Lloyd: Wh-- What? No!
Jun: I'm just saying, maybe that's why they freaked out.
Lloyd: That's not what happened!
Jun: So, tell me. Why else would they get mad at that?

Willow: Remember the math. [It is a battle cry to rank up there with the Alamo!]

Katara: Come out of the closet, Zuko.
Zuko: Never.

Roy: Well, now, was that such a bad wish all on its own? His heart was pure.
Peter Parker: His heart was pure, but his mind was slow.
Roy: There's an epitaph for the ages.

Thief King Bakura: ...You're nuts.
Rafiki: Why yes. I would like some nuts.

Brock: Look -- hey! KNOCK IT OFF!
Dr. Venture: Good god, if Russia's full of people like her, I don't see how the hell they could've called it a Cold War.
Molotov: I just want to kill him, Brock, it's not a big deal.

River Tam: Sad, little king of a sad, little hill.
Thief King Bakura: Sadness is the furthest thing from my heart of hearts.
River Tam: Dual meaning. Meant to imply pitiable in the proper context.

Miranda: That's true! He really ought to stop taking his sword out in public - it makes people extremely uncomfortable...

Rafiki: Asande sana yuu yuu squash panda!
Rafiki: Asande sana squasha yo face.

Light: Damn it, L-kun. You're heavy.
Misa: Ew, Light. You should keep that stuff private.
Light: !!!!! M-Misa-san! It's not like that!!
Misa: Um, yeah. It sounds like you're doing it wrong. Don't tell Misa you forgot how to do that, too! No wonder Ryuzaki's been mean lately.

Deadpool: Sphincter says what?

Suetake Kenta: ... Can you Walk Like An Egyptian?
Yami no Yuugi: The idiot thief wouldn't know how to properly walk like a true Egyptian. Only high priests and Pharaohs (like me) know how.
Thief King Bakura: It must be a lot easier with those tennis shoes.

Brook: GOOD EVENING, PARADISA! So how are all of you doing this fine day?
As for me, I'm bored out of my skull!
AH! Get it? BONE JOKES FROM A SKELETON!

Jun: Sarah?
Delysia: What is it, Junbug?
Jun: What's a... gay. pride. parade?
Delysia: A parade? Oh, how exciting! They're having a parade! What a wonderful reason for a parade! I believe they're just proud that they are happy with themselves. A happiness parade!
Jun: ...is that really what it means?
Delysia: Well it must be. Look at the smiles on their faces!

And that's all for today! Enjoy and seeya tomorrow!