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paradisaooc2011-12-07 08:06 pm
save-the-souls.livejournal.com) wrote in paradisaooc2011-12-07 08:06 pm
Paradisa Anniversary Quotes: Part VII of VIII
Hey everyone! It's time for the seventh installment of the eight part Paradisa 5th Anniversary Quote celebration!!
Today's topics are: Technology & Other Items; Music; Occupation & Identity and Violence, Fighting & Injury!
TECHNOLOGY & OTHER ITEMS
Booster: TED! TED... YOUR KID BUILT A FREAKING ROBOT! ... OUT OF AN IPOD.
[machinery sounds, and ... laser sounds, a yelp, and then the sound of things being knocked down]
WITH LASERS!!
Clark: I can't imagine what they'd have to sing about.
Cordelia: "Who the hell knows? The joys of being a sock drawer?
Rin:What's a camera?
Zexion: It's a machine you use to take photographs. I'd show you, but you'd probably take it everywhere and annoy me with it.
Misa: DON'T ATTACK THE CARS!!!! You'll get arrested! Or hit by one!!!
Arthur: ...Misa? I will not be arrested for defending myself against...These horrible beasts!
Misa: They're not monsters, they're just cars!
I mean, I guess they can kill you... if you stand in front of one, so DON'T DO THAT OKAY!!
They're just something you ride around in to get from one place to another!!! Those people think you're psycho!!!
Naruto: If I was an invisible time machine, where would I be?
Shiki Misaki:
[She turns a little away so there's a space where she can direct her next sentence to the castle itself.] I wish for a wheelchair. A really nice one, too!
[And, lo and behold... a crappy wheelchair, and a really pretty model of the number 1 pop into existence!!]
Allen: I-It's just your machines have a track record of being really painful, sir!
Komui: That's because you don't appreciate them properly, Allen! My machines are perfectly normal...
Komui: My machines don't go after people. Unless provoked. Or given coffee. Or - you know what, they just don't.
Harry: BIG SURPRISE! The microwave blew up. AGAIN.
Deadpool: What kinda of boy are you where grafting guns on yourself is a bad idea? You are a shame to your gender.
Joshua: [over text message] About my voice mail... I do have a reputation to maintain. :)
Neku: What reputation? Being an ass?
Lavi, when Haseo believes this is a game: ... Uh-huh. That'd mean I got a unit in the first place.
Haseo: So... what. You pirated the software?
Haseo: Ugh... Heart emotes.
Haseo: If the coffee machine attacks you, that would be the time to give up the stuff.
Beat: ... Phones, you hidin' in a book?
Beat: ... Cell book? The hell's with that?
Much: The marcrowive nearly took off Allan's head!
MUSIC
Barney: ... Also, whoever keeps singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star through the journals, all morning? Quit it. And whoever's directly above me on the 8th floor really needs to stop dragging whatever-it-is around the floor. It isn't just annoying, it's creepy. Don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy.
Kyon's Son: Try it! Upload country music!
Delta's Son, Gary: NO. I DO NOT WISH TO FRY MY OWN CIRCUITS WITH MARIAH CAREY. I CANNOT IMAGINE A WORSE DEATH.
Tenth: Oh, come on, you could've picked something better than Madonna.
Joshua: I could have, but what kind of reaction would I have gotten then?
Barney: Rule Number One, Clone. Singing is sexy. Think boy bands. Think Enrique Inglesias. Think Elvis, Ol' Blue Eyes, Michael Buble, Tom Jones - back before he was creepy. Think John Barrowman! Wait. He's gay. But you get the point, right?
Bella: Shouldn't it sound something like 'My name is Bella and I've lip synced to Madonna since I was five'?
Delta's Son, Gary: TRUST A MEATBAG NOT TO SEE THE HORROR OF COUNTRY MUSIC.
Delta: Stop it, Gary. Music taste is subjective. Not everyone likes "CAKE".
Delta's Son, Gary: THAT IS UNTRUE. EVERYONE LIKES CAKE. MOTHER SAID SO.
OCCUPATIONS & IDENTITY
Kamina to Fox: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING MONKEY BOY, CAPTAIN FURRY?!
Castiel: ...Claire.... Crowley?
Claire: People can call us Clairely.
Reno: Also, from now on if you wanna filter something to me - use something more specific than Reno so you don't get that other one. 'Reno of the Turks' or 'Father Reno' seems to work out all right.
Zack Addy: [confused pause] You're a Turkish priest?
Rin:I think a cutesy animal nickname would be better. Then we'd match. How do you feel about "dust bunny"?
Joshua: Matching outfits are fashionable as well.
Rin:I don't think we need to go that far.
Joshua: As long as we're springing for diminutives, why not go the whole nine yards?
Rin:All things in moderation-!
Joshua: Now, now, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing!
Rin:I'm sorry, I can't mesh with that philosophy. Besides, I'd hate for someone to mistake me for you and take a reckless shot -
Joshua: Wouldn't it be funny, though?
Rin:No. No, it wouldn't be.
Ted: I thought you were a rebel demon.
Barney: Oh, he totally is, but there's that whole Fooling The System thing. And besides. You don't have to be a demon to have Making People Miserable in your job description. Look at TV content editors!
Crowley: Exactly. Just because I don't go about murdering people doesn't mean I don't get my kicks from certain places.
Reno: You're a real dick for leaving us to take care of your damn bar, you know?
Shayera: You just had to mention that, didn't you?
Travis Touchdown: Wait. I own a bar? Since when?
Reno: Hold on a moment. [AS HE GOES TO TALK TO SHAYERA LIKE YOU AREN"T LISTENING]
Travis: ...Did the magic talking book just put me on hold? OH HELL NO!
Reno: [He won't reply but instead asks for a CD and puts into the CD player that's on the desk so the journal starts playing...cheesy hold music]
Travis: [There...there are no words]
Billy, to young Jilly on a loss:"No, you know what? You're right. This is what you are, and you can't be anything else." He turns to look at her. "Because, that's not how it works. It's not a light switch that you can just..." He just kind of gestures, making a light-switching motion.
"This is what you are right now. Whatever. But you are going to change, whether you like it or not. It's a slow thing. Just... try to steer it where you want it to go, and don't let someone else do it for you."
Rose Lalonde: [Rose is the patron saint of unsatisfactory bathroom repair.]
Miranda: Ah, um, thank you...[Not Strawberry, not Strawberry, not-]
Miranda: Strawberry?
Miranda: [sdflkgahd] Ahh! I mean Ichigo! Ichigo, right?! I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to say it!
Ichigo: [...] Yeah. Ichigo.
Chaucer: Hear ye, hear ye! All hail King Geoffrey, lord of ‘shit, I’m broke,’ duke of 'that woman was far more beautiful last night’, and reigning champion of the title 'I did not drink that much!’
Shibuya Yuuri: Lloyd! I lost Allen! I mean she was here, and then she just wasn't! Allen! Come on out!
Nia Teppelin: Oh no--I was not aware Allen is female!
Shibuya Yuuri: Yeah! I didn't know either, until we halfway through the expedition! Allen is still a good name though.
Nia Teppelin: I like Allen's name. Still, I feel bad for thinking she was male for so long...
Shibuya Yuuri: Me too. But it's not something that's really easy to tell, you know? And it's not like you can just ask her.
Nia Teppelin: That's right... and she never corrected me when I said "he" or "him" either... she's very polite.
Shibuya Yuuri: ...Well that's kind of normal, Nia. I think it would be hard for her to communicate that, if...She even really notices the difference.
Nia Teppelin: Ah, but someone else could have done so! I have said she was a nice boy to so many people...
Allen: Nia...are you referring to me or the buffalo?
Booster: ...By the way, you were my sidekick.
Ted: ...I was /your/ sidekick? Who are you, Batman?
Booster: No. I'm Booster Gold. And you're Golden Boy.
Ted: I'm not Golden Boy. That is a stupid sidekick name.
Booster: I know. Which is why it was given to you in the story.
Jun: Well, aren't you a rebel.
Yue: Yes, I am. They call me the Rebel Princess.
Alleyne: You can be anything you want if you set your mind to it. Or a...whatever you have. Just put in a lot of work and I'm sure you could surprise everyone with it.
Weighted Companion Cube: I don't think that I would like to become an author. I think I would like to be useful.
Maya Fey: Do I not have any memories? Oh boy, that's a scary thought. What if I'm some wandering rogue, who lost all her memories already forever ago! Or maybe I'm a person who can't make memories at all, that happens... doesn't it?
John Stewart: The annoying voice in my head is telling me that I'm a cowboy.
Briar: It told me I was a baker's apprentice.
Giselle: [THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN A MAID!] How wonderful! What sorts of things do you bake?
Briar: Baker's usually bake bread and cakes and things like that. So that's probably what I'll be baking?
Giselle: Oh. I suppose I should say, what is your favorite thing to bake? Personally I love making cakes. They always make people so happy. Briar Rose likes cakes, you know.
Briar: I have a fondness for bread. It's cheap to buy, but it's definitely filling.
Giselle: Oh, yes. You can do many things with bread, like made sandwiches, dinner rolls, and even those neat bread bowls that hold soup. Whoever thought of that was brilliant!
Allen, when Tony typoed his name to be "Wallen"..on flyers: Oh, and one last thing-
It's ALLEN Walker.
Suzumiya Haruhi: Are you someone from the future coming back to protect the past from a terrible threat like a psychotic murderer who might kill someone and destroy the future?? Or are you someone who was sent forward from the past to learn more about the future?
Miranda: ..... actually, I'm an Exorcist, apparently.
Aang: You can't tell me to shut up! I'm the Avatar!
Pyro: So what are they gonna call you when you're 20? Young Adult Ninja Turtles?
Jan: Jan fucking Valentine does not care about anything other than his own sweet ass.
Peter: I'm going to not comment on that one
Peter: I guess you could say Jan is 'special' like that.
Eleven: Blond? Oh! You've met my other self! We're the same Doctor, just from different points in our time line. [Smiles as if that clears EVERYTHING up]
Violet: You must be the Doctor. You've confused me again.
Rafiki: I am not a baboon.
Nuriko: I'm not a baboon either~! ♥
Rafiki: Rafiki not so sure about dat.
Misa: Hey Ryuzaki. Um. Do you have a personal life. Like, at all?
L: Considering my profession and the demanding sacrifices required to it- no.
Lavi: Maybe a little, but if you wanna make a decent cushion, you gotta be squishier.
Kanda: Strangely enough, professional cushion was not on my possible 'career' listings.
Yami no Yuugi: My name, when spoken out loud... tends to make things explode.
Haseo: Giant fluffy monsters? Well, there is this one guy named Yuu...
Gai: ...If it makes you feel any better, I once killed an entire family with my bare hands.
Doctor Zoidburg: Oh me too. I'm a doctor, you see.
Ada: If anyone finds themselves feeling ill, itching, and suddenly very hungry, make sure to tell me. I have a cure for that.
Zelman: I have a nagging feeling that cure involves lead bullets being fired over a thousand miles an hour into someone's head. Please prove me wrong~?
Ada: Would you believe me if I said I once worked for a pharmaceutical company?
Ino: You're not made of rubber, you dummy.
Sasuke: I can be!
Wesley: They made us an offer we couldn't refuse.
Cordelia: What, like the Godfather?
Peter: I'm sorry, but do I look like a Bond villain to you?
VIOLENCE, FIGHTING & INJURY
Zack Addy: A bullet to the head kills zombies.
Zack Addy: Not that they exist.
Jack Hodgins: Yeah, tell the shuffling masses that they don't exist. I'm sure they'll believe you and stop existing.
Deadpool: Oh I would have warned people when things went boom. Most of the time. Probably.
Ted: Okay. Just breathe, Ted. You're not going to explode. You are not going to explode.
Janitor: You know, people don't only explode in this place. I had a friend back home who was a janitor at Walgreens. Those bathrooms in the city, they get pretty dirty. He discovered a new species of cockroach. Anyways, one day while working with chemicals in an enclosed space, he decided to light a cigarette and BOOM -- his family didn't have to pay cremation fees.
Ted: That...but wouldn't he...That is terrifying on so many levels. Even worse, I actually feel comforted after hearing that...OH God, does that make me a horrible person?
Janitor: I think that pretty much does.
[When Brock and Molotov are talking about Brock's knife, Arch misinterprets]
Archer: Well, I mean, I said it was a niche interest, not that no guys were interested in it. Shit, I mean, Ray's flamboyant ass is proof of that, right? Not that you know who that is.
Brock: ...oh. Goddammit - we were talking about my knife.
Archer: Yeah, I bet it needs a smaller sheath now too, right? Hah hah!
Brock: Yes. Because we're actually talking about a knife.
Archer: Jesus, man. Sharpening your dick must be a painful process.
Brock: A literal knife, jackass.
Archer: Someone cut off your dick and you chose to replace it with a knife?! Dude, that is fucked up to the max.
Brock: What -- do you even listen to yourself?!
Archer: You clearly don't listen to yourself if you cut your own cock off just to replace it with a knife!
Reno, after pulling some glass shards from his hand: ...Damn. Left my Restore upstairs. [sees a fork nearby and sighs] Know where an outlet is?
Spike: I thought you wanted to watch Fran kill him, not kill yourself.
Reno: Tch, it won't kill me.
Spike: Uhh... did you snap?
Reno: [Aha Found one! He grabs the fork with his good hand and...sticks it in. looks over at Spike while there are sparks and electricity going UP HIS ARM] I don't think so, why?
Spike: [kjsgbsdkjbgksdgj NEARLY FALLS OFF HIS STOOL] What the hell!?
Albus Dumbledore: It wouldn't hurt to do a little of the work.
Grif: You don't know that. It might.
Reno: Morale is low among the other victims. Everyone is sick of popcorn and soda, and several do not appreciate using the straws for spitwads. Things really didn't improve when Apollo decided to add some meat in his diet and be the first of us to go to cannibalism. I had no idea that a simple joke would turn into something so horrifying. Poor James didn't stand a chance against the lawyer's surprising speed and strength. Then again, it's not so surprising when his only weapon was a wooden stick.
Joshua: How shall I comply with all your whims, Rin? I could try rolling out
Rin:If you do not want to swell up, you should lie down. If you want to swell up, you may sit, or remain standing. I think that you should be able to take yourself back to your own home quickly enough to avoid swelling, if once there, you lie down. Or I could black your other eye right now. A multitude of choices.
Joshua: Are you that determined to push me away? If I wanted to roll out, a push would be all I needed...
Rin:(Stares at him. Blankly. You weirdo.) I should have broken your jaw.
Sebastian: It is called a "band aid".
Ciel: You just glued a bandage to my hand.
Cordelia: If my lamp starts breaking out into song, I am going to smash it.
Chris: Peter, he wants to shoot you.
Peter: Like that hasn't happened before.
Haseo: Oh yeah, you're really fine, bleeding all over the paper.
Miranda: They chased you out? How on Earth did that happen?
Rafiki: First, de moved after ole Rafiki. Den, they yell at him.
Reno: ..Maybe I won't pay attention until someone decides to bleed sparkles.
That's all for today! Seeya tomorrow for our last part!
Today's topics are: Technology & Other Items; Music; Occupation & Identity and Violence, Fighting & Injury!
TECHNOLOGY & OTHER ITEMS
Booster: TED! TED... YOUR KID BUILT A FREAKING ROBOT! ... OUT OF AN IPOD.
[machinery sounds, and ... laser sounds, a yelp, and then the sound of things being knocked down]
WITH LASERS!!
Clark: I can't imagine what they'd have to sing about.
Cordelia: "Who the hell knows? The joys of being a sock drawer?
Rin:What's a camera?
Zexion: It's a machine you use to take photographs. I'd show you, but you'd probably take it everywhere and annoy me with it.
Misa: DON'T ATTACK THE CARS!!!! You'll get arrested! Or hit by one!!!
Arthur: ...Misa? I will not be arrested for defending myself against...These horrible beasts!
Misa: They're not monsters, they're just cars!
I mean, I guess they can kill you... if you stand in front of one, so DON'T DO THAT OKAY!!
They're just something you ride around in to get from one place to another!!! Those people think you're psycho!!!
Naruto: If I was an invisible time machine, where would I be?
Shiki Misaki:
[She turns a little away so there's a space where she can direct her next sentence to the castle itself.] I wish for a wheelchair. A really nice one, too!
[And, lo and behold... a crappy wheelchair, and a really pretty model of the number 1 pop into existence!!]
Allen: I-It's just your machines have a track record of being really painful, sir!
Komui: That's because you don't appreciate them properly, Allen! My machines are perfectly normal...
Komui: My machines don't go after people. Unless provoked. Or given coffee. Or - you know what, they just don't.
Harry: BIG SURPRISE! The microwave blew up. AGAIN.
Deadpool: What kinda of boy are you where grafting guns on yourself is a bad idea? You are a shame to your gender.
Joshua: [over text message] About my voice mail... I do have a reputation to maintain. :)
Neku: What reputation? Being an ass?
Lavi, when Haseo believes this is a game: ... Uh-huh. That'd mean I got a unit in the first place.
Haseo: So... what. You pirated the software?
Haseo: Ugh... Heart emotes.
Haseo: If the coffee machine attacks you, that would be the time to give up the stuff.
Beat: ... Phones, you hidin' in a book?
Beat: ... Cell book? The hell's with that?
Much: The marcrowive nearly took off Allan's head!
MUSIC
Barney: ... Also, whoever keeps singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star through the journals, all morning? Quit it. And whoever's directly above me on the 8th floor really needs to stop dragging whatever-it-is around the floor. It isn't just annoying, it's creepy. Don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy.
Kyon's Son: Try it! Upload country music!
Delta's Son, Gary: NO. I DO NOT WISH TO FRY MY OWN CIRCUITS WITH MARIAH CAREY. I CANNOT IMAGINE A WORSE DEATH.
Tenth: Oh, come on, you could've picked something better than Madonna.
Joshua: I could have, but what kind of reaction would I have gotten then?
Barney: Rule Number One, Clone. Singing is sexy. Think boy bands. Think Enrique Inglesias. Think Elvis, Ol' Blue Eyes, Michael Buble, Tom Jones - back before he was creepy. Think John Barrowman! Wait. He's gay. But you get the point, right?
Bella: Shouldn't it sound something like 'My name is Bella and I've lip synced to Madonna since I was five'?
Delta's Son, Gary: TRUST A MEATBAG NOT TO SEE THE HORROR OF COUNTRY MUSIC.
Delta: Stop it, Gary. Music taste is subjective. Not everyone likes "CAKE".
Delta's Son, Gary: THAT IS UNTRUE. EVERYONE LIKES CAKE. MOTHER SAID SO.
OCCUPATIONS & IDENTITY
Kamina to Fox: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING MONKEY BOY, CAPTAIN FURRY?!
Castiel: ...Claire.... Crowley?
Claire: People can call us Clairely.
Reno: Also, from now on if you wanna filter something to me - use something more specific than Reno so you don't get that other one. 'Reno of the Turks' or 'Father Reno' seems to work out all right.
Zack Addy: [confused pause] You're a Turkish priest?
Rin:I think a cutesy animal nickname would be better. Then we'd match. How do you feel about "dust bunny"?
Joshua: Matching outfits are fashionable as well.
Rin:I don't think we need to go that far.
Joshua: As long as we're springing for diminutives, why not go the whole nine yards?
Rin:All things in moderation-!
Joshua: Now, now, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing!
Rin:I'm sorry, I can't mesh with that philosophy. Besides, I'd hate for someone to mistake me for you and take a reckless shot -
Joshua: Wouldn't it be funny, though?
Rin:No. No, it wouldn't be.
Ted: I thought you were a rebel demon.
Barney: Oh, he totally is, but there's that whole Fooling The System thing. And besides. You don't have to be a demon to have Making People Miserable in your job description. Look at TV content editors!
Crowley: Exactly. Just because I don't go about murdering people doesn't mean I don't get my kicks from certain places.
Reno: You're a real dick for leaving us to take care of your damn bar, you know?
Shayera: You just had to mention that, didn't you?
Travis Touchdown: Wait. I own a bar? Since when?
Reno: Hold on a moment. [AS HE GOES TO TALK TO SHAYERA LIKE YOU AREN"T LISTENING]
Travis: ...Did the magic talking book just put me on hold? OH HELL NO!
Reno: [He won't reply but instead asks for a CD and puts into the CD player that's on the desk so the journal starts playing...cheesy hold music]
Travis: [There...there are no words]
Billy, to young Jilly on a loss:"No, you know what? You're right. This is what you are, and you can't be anything else." He turns to look at her. "Because, that's not how it works. It's not a light switch that you can just..." He just kind of gestures, making a light-switching motion.
"This is what you are right now. Whatever. But you are going to change, whether you like it or not. It's a slow thing. Just... try to steer it where you want it to go, and don't let someone else do it for you."
Rose Lalonde: [Rose is the patron saint of unsatisfactory bathroom repair.]
Miranda: Ah, um, thank you...[Not Strawberry, not Strawberry, not-]
Miranda: Strawberry?
Miranda: [sdflkgahd] Ahh! I mean Ichigo! Ichigo, right?! I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to say it!
Ichigo: [...] Yeah. Ichigo.
Chaucer: Hear ye, hear ye! All hail King Geoffrey, lord of ‘shit, I’m broke,’ duke of 'that woman was far more beautiful last night’, and reigning champion of the title 'I did not drink that much!’
Shibuya Yuuri: Lloyd! I lost Allen! I mean she was here, and then she just wasn't! Allen! Come on out!
Nia Teppelin: Oh no--I was not aware Allen is female!
Shibuya Yuuri: Yeah! I didn't know either, until we halfway through the expedition! Allen is still a good name though.
Nia Teppelin: I like Allen's name. Still, I feel bad for thinking she was male for so long...
Shibuya Yuuri: Me too. But it's not something that's really easy to tell, you know? And it's not like you can just ask her.
Nia Teppelin: That's right... and she never corrected me when I said "he" or "him" either... she's very polite.
Shibuya Yuuri: ...Well that's kind of normal, Nia. I think it would be hard for her to communicate that, if...She even really notices the difference.
Nia Teppelin: Ah, but someone else could have done so! I have said she was a nice boy to so many people...
Allen: Nia...are you referring to me or the buffalo?
Booster: ...By the way, you were my sidekick.
Ted: ...I was /your/ sidekick? Who are you, Batman?
Booster: No. I'm Booster Gold. And you're Golden Boy.
Ted: I'm not Golden Boy. That is a stupid sidekick name.
Booster: I know. Which is why it was given to you in the story.
Jun: Well, aren't you a rebel.
Yue: Yes, I am. They call me the Rebel Princess.
Alleyne: You can be anything you want if you set your mind to it. Or a...whatever you have. Just put in a lot of work and I'm sure you could surprise everyone with it.
Weighted Companion Cube: I don't think that I would like to become an author. I think I would like to be useful.
Maya Fey: Do I not have any memories? Oh boy, that's a scary thought. What if I'm some wandering rogue, who lost all her memories already forever ago! Or maybe I'm a person who can't make memories at all, that happens... doesn't it?
John Stewart: The annoying voice in my head is telling me that I'm a cowboy.
Briar: It told me I was a baker's apprentice.
Giselle: [THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN A MAID!] How wonderful! What sorts of things do you bake?
Briar: Baker's usually bake bread and cakes and things like that. So that's probably what I'll be baking?
Giselle: Oh. I suppose I should say, what is your favorite thing to bake? Personally I love making cakes. They always make people so happy. Briar Rose likes cakes, you know.
Briar: I have a fondness for bread. It's cheap to buy, but it's definitely filling.
Giselle: Oh, yes. You can do many things with bread, like made sandwiches, dinner rolls, and even those neat bread bowls that hold soup. Whoever thought of that was brilliant!
Allen, when Tony typoed his name to be "Wallen"..on flyers: Oh, and one last thing-
It's ALLEN Walker.
Suzumiya Haruhi: Are you someone from the future coming back to protect the past from a terrible threat like a psychotic murderer who might kill someone and destroy the future?? Or are you someone who was sent forward from the past to learn more about the future?
Miranda: ..... actually, I'm an Exorcist, apparently.
Aang: You can't tell me to shut up! I'm the Avatar!
Pyro: So what are they gonna call you when you're 20? Young Adult Ninja Turtles?
Jan: Jan fucking Valentine does not care about anything other than his own sweet ass.
Peter: I'm going to not comment on that one
Peter: I guess you could say Jan is 'special' like that.
Eleven: Blond? Oh! You've met my other self! We're the same Doctor, just from different points in our time line. [Smiles as if that clears EVERYTHING up]
Violet: You must be the Doctor. You've confused me again.
Rafiki: I am not a baboon.
Nuriko: I'm not a baboon either~! ♥
Rafiki: Rafiki not so sure about dat.
Misa: Hey Ryuzaki. Um. Do you have a personal life. Like, at all?
L: Considering my profession and the demanding sacrifices required to it- no.
Lavi: Maybe a little, but if you wanna make a decent cushion, you gotta be squishier.
Kanda: Strangely enough, professional cushion was not on my possible 'career' listings.
Yami no Yuugi: My name, when spoken out loud... tends to make things explode.
Haseo: Giant fluffy monsters? Well, there is this one guy named Yuu...
Gai: ...If it makes you feel any better, I once killed an entire family with my bare hands.
Doctor Zoidburg: Oh me too. I'm a doctor, you see.
Ada: If anyone finds themselves feeling ill, itching, and suddenly very hungry, make sure to tell me. I have a cure for that.
Zelman: I have a nagging feeling that cure involves lead bullets being fired over a thousand miles an hour into someone's head. Please prove me wrong~?
Ada: Would you believe me if I said I once worked for a pharmaceutical company?
Ino: You're not made of rubber, you dummy.
Sasuke: I can be!
Wesley: They made us an offer we couldn't refuse.
Cordelia: What, like the Godfather?
Peter: I'm sorry, but do I look like a Bond villain to you?
VIOLENCE, FIGHTING & INJURY
Zack Addy: A bullet to the head kills zombies.
Zack Addy: Not that they exist.
Jack Hodgins: Yeah, tell the shuffling masses that they don't exist. I'm sure they'll believe you and stop existing.
Deadpool: Oh I would have warned people when things went boom. Most of the time. Probably.
Ted: Okay. Just breathe, Ted. You're not going to explode. You are not going to explode.
Janitor: You know, people don't only explode in this place. I had a friend back home who was a janitor at Walgreens. Those bathrooms in the city, they get pretty dirty. He discovered a new species of cockroach. Anyways, one day while working with chemicals in an enclosed space, he decided to light a cigarette and BOOM -- his family didn't have to pay cremation fees.
Ted: That...but wouldn't he...That is terrifying on so many levels. Even worse, I actually feel comforted after hearing that...OH God, does that make me a horrible person?
Janitor: I think that pretty much does.
[When Brock and Molotov are talking about Brock's knife, Arch misinterprets]
Archer: Well, I mean, I said it was a niche interest, not that no guys were interested in it. Shit, I mean, Ray's flamboyant ass is proof of that, right? Not that you know who that is.
Brock: ...oh. Goddammit - we were talking about my knife.
Archer: Yeah, I bet it needs a smaller sheath now too, right? Hah hah!
Brock: Yes. Because we're actually talking about a knife.
Archer: Jesus, man. Sharpening your dick must be a painful process.
Brock: A literal knife, jackass.
Archer: Someone cut off your dick and you chose to replace it with a knife?! Dude, that is fucked up to the max.
Brock: What -- do you even listen to yourself?!
Archer: You clearly don't listen to yourself if you cut your own cock off just to replace it with a knife!
Reno, after pulling some glass shards from his hand: ...Damn. Left my Restore upstairs. [sees a fork nearby and sighs] Know where an outlet is?
Spike: I thought you wanted to watch Fran kill him, not kill yourself.
Reno: Tch, it won't kill me.
Spike: Uhh... did you snap?
Reno: [Aha Found one! He grabs the fork with his good hand and...sticks it in. looks over at Spike while there are sparks and electricity going UP HIS ARM] I don't think so, why?
Spike: [kjsgbsdkjbgksdgj NEARLY FALLS OFF HIS STOOL] What the hell!?
Albus Dumbledore: It wouldn't hurt to do a little of the work.
Grif: You don't know that. It might.
Reno: Morale is low among the other victims. Everyone is sick of popcorn and soda, and several do not appreciate using the straws for spitwads. Things really didn't improve when Apollo decided to add some meat in his diet and be the first of us to go to cannibalism. I had no idea that a simple joke would turn into something so horrifying. Poor James didn't stand a chance against the lawyer's surprising speed and strength. Then again, it's not so surprising when his only weapon was a wooden stick.
Joshua: How shall I comply with all your whims, Rin? I could try rolling out
Rin:If you do not want to swell up, you should lie down. If you want to swell up, you may sit, or remain standing. I think that you should be able to take yourself back to your own home quickly enough to avoid swelling, if once there, you lie down. Or I could black your other eye right now. A multitude of choices.
Joshua: Are you that determined to push me away? If I wanted to roll out, a push would be all I needed...
Rin:(Stares at him. Blankly. You weirdo.) I should have broken your jaw.
Sebastian: It is called a "band aid".
Ciel: You just glued a bandage to my hand.
Cordelia: If my lamp starts breaking out into song, I am going to smash it.
Chris: Peter, he wants to shoot you.
Peter: Like that hasn't happened before.
Haseo: Oh yeah, you're really fine, bleeding all over the paper.
Miranda: They chased you out? How on Earth did that happen?
Rafiki: First, de moved after ole Rafiki. Den, they yell at him.
Reno: ..Maybe I won't pay attention until someone decides to bleed sparkles.
That's all for today! Seeya tomorrow for our last part!