http://save-the-souls.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
save-the-souls.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
paradisaooc2011-12-05 08:30 pm
save-the-souls.livejournal.com) wrote in paradisaooc2011-12-05 08:30 pm
Paradisa Anniversary Quotes: Part V
Hey everyone! It's time for the fifth installment of the multi-part Paradisa 5th Annivesary Quote celebration!
Today's topics are: Attraction, Dating, Sex & and All that Good Stuff; Play on Words; Communication & Manners and Travel!
ATTRACTION, DATING, SEX & AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF
Joshua: Didn't Kratos explain the birds and the bees?
Lloyd: ... huh?
Joshua: When you're older, Lloyd. Kissing's a part of it, but not too much.
Lloyd: ... You kissed birds and bees?
(While on a naked loss, holster placed strategically)
Abel: Maybe one of those double-sided signs people hang around their necks. Would that count as clothes? It might hang over your... um, 'holster.'
Tres: Negative. I cannot wear anything that will compromise the position of my holster, as my gun must be reachable and cocked within 0.21 seconds to be fully efficient.
Abel: No. No. Abel Nightroad, wake up. This is just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just... a... bad dream.
Tres: Efficiency is increased 12% if the gun is pre-cocked and ready to fire within 0.17 seconds.
Abel: Usually one buys me a drink before they start bragging about firing their guns... I'm going to Hell.
Tres: [He processes this remark for 0.87 seconds. Weighing all the possible alternatives for such a bizarre and unrelated statement, ranging from suffering a stroke (possibility of 1.4%) through to the most statistically probable based on the tone of voice and words used - flirting/innuendo (possibility of 54.1%).]
Homosexual relations are forbidden by Vatican law, Father Nightroad.
Abel: [CHOKESKJHKJH STAGGERS AND CATCHES HIMSELF] W-WHAT?!
Tres: Your previous statement was 54.1% flirtatious.
Travis: But...I think it was fate that I should see this.
Travis: Because...you see...
Joshua: [the smile on his face. it is huge.] What is it, Travis?
Travis: I have incredible NC-17 dreams about you every night.
Zelos: So I heard Colette and you are moving in together!
Lloyd: Ah, yeah... we're moving out of the castle. Considering all the bad stuff that happens, I thought it'd be a good idea. [A pause. Would Zelos even be interested?] We have room if you want to come with.
Zelos: Really? That's a nice offer, Lloyd! But I wouldn't want to interfere on any private time you might have~
Lloyd: Interfere with... what?
Zelos: Oh you know...Heh heh~ ♥
Zelos: [a pause; wait his tone was confused than and this IS Lloyd...A HEAVY SIGH]
Zelos: Or...not.
Lloyd: Well, if you're that worried about it, I'm building a shed so that I can work on stuff without waking up everyone else.
Zelos: Just...forget I said anything, bud. [He is so disappoint. So so disappoint]
[end of Pirates plot]
Isabela: I'd grab on to something if I were you!
Barney: [grabs Isabela. WHUT.]
Isabela: [she's still laughing] Good choice!
Barney: Thanks! Now shut up and kiss me, in case we die!
Misa: HEY! WHO'S BEEN WRITING THAT MISA IS SLEEPING WITH BRAD PITT?!
And Misa does too shave her legs, often and regularly!!!!
And Misa has never done nudity, those pics are a fake!!! Just look! I mean, except don't!
Whoever is responsible, Misa is gonna break your kneecap!!
Lucy Saxon to the Second Master: Oh dear. Has the Doctor not been putting out?
Joshua: Suit yourself. As for me, I'm quite content with the fact that I haven't been kissed that well in years. It'll hold me over for quite a while.
Kratos: Pray that will never happen again, lest I send you slowly and painfully to your unfortunately temporary grave.
Equius Zahhak: D --> Will you be my matesprit?
Shiki Misaki: Matesprit, that's... that one's the...
Shiki Misaki: lskdjflksfd [...Yeah, she actually does the keyboard smash sound.]
Shiki Misaki: [ohmygodomygodomigod he likes me.]
Shiki Misaki: [Oh wow, he actually likes me! That... I never thought he really would, with me being human and all!]
Shiki Misaki: [Wait, but... I'm human. Won't that reoccur to him and matter and stuff?]
Shiki Misaki: [But... but that won't matter for now, right? I mean... I can at least just have now, can't I?]
Shiki Misaki: [Like... people always run the risk of getting hurt when stuff happens. I can't just not go with it because I might get hurt, right?? Besides, I've died. I think I can deal with anything at this point.]
Shiki Misaki: [Besides... he actually likes me!!]
Shiki Misaki: [Despite what the icon looks like, she's just smiling very... serenely right now, and decides to answer simply.] ...I'd love to~
Equius Zahhak: D -->
D --> Of course you w001d
Joshua: Are things really that impossible between us? Out of the thousands of alternate realities out there, there wouldn't be a single Neku who would be happy - nay, honored - to wake up to the sight of myself in the same bed?
Neku: No. That'd have to be one twisted version. Insane puddle of desperation.
Joshua: Puddles?
Neku: No. Singular. Don't flatter yourself.
[Geoff bows deeply to Felix.]
Felix Harrowgate: No need for that, unless you plan on making use of that position. And I'm sure my lover would object.
Gaara: . . . If I care for Naruto and not women, does it mean that I am homosexual even if I do not wish to have sex?
Reno: ...What?
Gaara: A girl told me that my attachment to Naruto makes me. . . "gay." She is quite convinced. I would ask Naruto but................
Reno: [a long pause] You're only gay if you're physically attracted to another guy, Gaara.
Gaara: [equally long pause] How would I know?
Reno: Have you ever had thoughts about being with a guy beyond friendly terms?
Gaara: ........... [quoi?]
Reno: ...
Reno: Gaara, have you ever had a sexual thought...in your life?
Gaara: ...........No.
Molotov: You see? He wants to die.
Archer: Maybe if I was forced to sleep with a much older woman, yeah.
Molotov: [Molotov is grabbing Brock and forcing him back to the journal. You defend my honor right now, Samson!]
Brock: [What! Rude! Hands off, lady --] She's not even old, what the hell is wrong with you?
Archer: No one said decrepit. Didn't even say old. "Older" was the word I used.
Brock: What, you only date college girls or something, man?
Archer: I mean. Not all of them are actually in college, and less of them can afford college, but more or less.
Brock: Classy.
Abel: It's perfectly natural to have fantasies about two handsome young men like Peter and I.
Esther: Father, you're hardly a handsome young man!
Ino: Do you look at my ass often?
Kiba: ...No, why would I? ... I MEAN YES. ... No?
Rin: [Uh, derp. She's just as startled (?) as he is.] Uh...
Joshua: [Oh, he's surprised too. Have a load of that face, Rin, it's limited edition and disappears... oh, now. He smirks.] ... I didn't need a kiss, Bee, but it's reassuring to know Prince Charming was around to wake me up.
Rin: [Blinks and... frowns.] If I kissed you I think I'd have to bite my own tongue out just afterward. Yuck.
Joshua: [ahahahahhahawatch out Rinnikins] Unpleasant and sounding somewhat like a challenge. I like it.
Ino: You already had two whole weeks to look at as much porn as you want. And I know you were making the most of that time.
Dante: Let me savor the precious moments I still have left.
Dilan: I just couldn't resist Gatts. He's rather charming in a dress.
Sai: Ovulation is like penises?
Ino: ... Yes.
Jan: Oh, and fuck you, Petes.
Peter: Are you offering, Jan?
Mac: Is there like, a 80% lesbian population here?
Benio: When I am through with this place, yes.
Jilly: I kissed an angel. Isn't that a sin, or something?
Delysia: We didn't, did we?
Travis: I'd say it's fifty/fifty.
Delysia: I'm all for a little fun, but honestly, did you have to use handcuffs?
Travis: Whoa whoa whoa. I don't play with cuffs. Especially ones lacking a keyhole. I thought this little kink was all you.
Delysia: I may have a few kinks, but handcuffs aren't one of them.
Travis: Oh ho ho ho! Remind me to get the full scoop from you later then.
Ichigo: Renji's the one with a bigass snake for a sword! If that isn't compensating I don't know what is!
Renji: S'called advertisement, in that case.
Sai: It's big, by the way.
Sasuke: I caught you.
Lavi: Nudity?
Allen: Lavi. J-just... was that the only word you saw?
Misa: Misa thinks Lavi's hammer might be compatible with Yuu Yuu.
Lavi: Not sure about 'compatible', but it worked pretty good, keeping the guy's sword from getting just a little too close for comfort.
Misa: Everyone's first time is awkward.
Thief King Bakura: I'm not interested in either of you.
Lavi: Glad to hear it~ You're not exactly my type, either. ♥
Thief King Bakura: I try not to lead anyone on.
Kanda: I hate kids.
Lavi: Hey, it's okay if she's over ten.
Misa: Misa thinks you're a dirty boy who just likes to think about naked girls and dirty their reputations with your bad thoughts. Tsk.
Haseo: [When set up for a blind date game] "Not too bad"? I got paired with the guy that two people (or more) are trying to lynch.
Naruto: Then I suggest you be prepared to run in case they decide to step in during the date. Other than that, you're all set!
Diva: Haha... a voyeur. Please don't tell anyone about it okay? If you don't tell anyone I won't tell anyone about the forbidden love you share with your brother.
Dante: There.is.no.frobidden.love. I'd rather rip out that guys eyeballs and force them down his god damn throat.
Diva: How gruesome. Well, whatever turns you on. Everyone does their sexy stuff in different ways ♪
Jacob: This might... will sound kind of crazy, but. I feel completely drawn to you. Like our meeting was always meant to be. Like I've...Imprinted.
Bloodspill: Imprinted?
Jacob: Layman's terms would probably be like, "love at first sight."
Bloodspill: ...I'm a wolf.
Jun: [does the shh-shh-shooshy finger to mouth thing as she grins, leaning toward Delysia in a slight bit of drunken excitement] Ssshhhh, sweets. Sweets. I'll tell you my secret.
I've had an erotic dream...about someone in the castle.
Now, now I can't say who. But it's...[whispers] a woman. And, hah. And her name...Her name?
It rhymes with...Shhh...Shhhhfff...Shmalithia Famoss. [tries to be all serious.... but snickers anyway]
PLAY ON WORDS
Luke, when squeezing a melon: Hey, Tear? Are you sure this will fit? It's sort of big.
Tear: You just need to squeeze it in-- here, like this.
Luke: ... Ugh. This is harder than it looks...
Lloyd: You're not a bad influence. That place was just dumb. I mean, they freaked out when I went to the bathroom.
Jun: ...did you go in the classroom?
Lloyd: Wh-- What? No!
Jun: I'm just saying, maybe that's why they freaked out.
Lloyd: That's not what happened!
Jun: So, tell me. Why else would they get mad at that?
Willow: Remember the math. [It is a battle cry to rank up there with the Alamo!]
Katara: Come out of the closet, Zuko.
Zuko: Never.
Roy: Well, now, was that such a bad wish all on its own? His heart was pure.
Peter Parker: His heart was pure, but his mind was slow.
Roy: There's an epitaph for the ages.
Shiki: Your companions... travel with you?? [She may be only 15, and therefore, not know a lot about that kind of world. But she does know that... companions are typically only there for a night and that's it. So this confuses her lots. Maybe he's the kind of guy who will get a prostitute just to talk to her...?]
Eleven: Of course! Amy and Rory are the latest. It's the first time I've ever had a married couple on board. I must say it's been interesting.
Thief King Bakura: ...You're nuts.
Rafiki: Why yes. I would like some nuts.
Brock: Look -- hey! KNOCK IT OFF!
Dr. Venture: Good god, if Russia's full of people like her, I don't see how the hell they could've called it a Cold War.
Molotov: I just want to kill him, Brock, it's not a big deal.
River Tam: Sad, little king of a sad, little hill.
Thief King Bakura: Sadness is the furthest thing from my heart of hearts.
River Tam: Dual meaning. Meant to imply pitiable in the proper context.
Miranda: That's true! He really ought to stop taking his sword out in public - it makes people extremely uncomfortable...
Rafiki: Asande sana yuu yuu squash panda!
Rafiki: Asande sana squasha yo face.
Light: Damn it, L-kun. You're heavy.
Misa: Ew, Light. You should keep that stuff private.
Light: !!!!! M-Misa-san! It's not like that!!
Misa: Um, yeah. It sounds like you're doing it wrong. Don't tell Misa you forgot how to do that, too! No wonder Ryuzaki's been mean lately.
Deadpool: Sphincter says what?
Suetake Kenta: ... Can you Walk Like An Egyptian?
Yami no Yuugi: The idiot thief wouldn't know how to properly walk like a true Egyptian. Only high priests and Pharaohs (like me) know how.
Thief King Bakura: It must be a lot easier with those tennis shoes.
Brook: GOOD EVENING, PARADISA! So how are all of you doing this fine day?
As for me, I'm bored out of my skull!
AH! Get it? BONE JOKES FROM A SKELETON!
Jun: Sarah?
Delysia: What is it, Junbug?
Jun: What's a... gay. pride. parade?
Delysia: A parade? Oh, how exciting! They're having a parade! What a wonderful reason for a parade! I believe they're just proud that they are happy with themselves. A happiness parade!
Jun: ...is that really what it means?
Delysia: Well it must be. Look at the smiles on their faces!
COMMUNICATION & MANNERS
Ino, when she's on a communication loss: {doodle of a small badger with a sombrero}
Spike: What the hell?
Ino: {transcribed whine, followed by a doodle of a stick figure pointing to its mouth. The stick figure is then turned into a giant strawberry.}
Spike: ... damn, someone must have introduced cocaine to this place.
Ino: jhzfjfgjaashhjsaf {transcribed irritated noise}
Crowley: I have a feeling that you're about to tell me something that will make me laugh. And after I'm done laughing, you're going to tell me something that stops me from making decorative art out of your spine.
[After knocking out Albus Dumbledore when he's been brainwashed, Zoe asks what to do with him]
Fifth Doctor: [MUCH SPUTTERING IS TO BE HAD] I --- bu --- you --- who on--
Fifth Doctor: WHAT?
Zoe: I did try asking first.
Chris Perry Halliwell: Chii, don't. This guy isn't someone you should mess with.
Chii: Chii isn't sure Chris is making sense.
Chris: ...just don't worry about me.
Chii: Chii is sure Chris isn't making sense.
Gary: WHAT A CURIOUS LITTLE MEATBAG.
GLaDOS: Gary.
Gary: YES, MOTHER?
GLaDOS: What did I tell you about using that word?
Gary: DON'T JUDGE A MEATBAG BY ITS CHEMICAL COMPOSITION?
GLaDOS: Good.
Sakura: Though if you don't mind me asking, what exactly does "awesomeness" consist of?
Barney: But awesomeness? Seriously? You don't know? It's ... well. You ever see something, or hear something, or have something happen that was just undeniably great? But great wasn't a good enough word? And just having been there for that one tiny little moment made your life like, a billion times better?
That.
Is awesomeness.
Rin:Cass and I found something. A postcard... picture... note thing.
Allen: Really? What does it say?
Rin:"Don't leave your shit lying around - - Hancock". And there's a coffee stain on the corner, I think, and there's a picture of a... gazebo on here? A gazebo and cherry trees...
Rin:Or it could also say... um... Mancock I guess....It's a little hard to tell whether it's an M or an H.
Cassie: ... Mancock?
Allen:[........................] I-It's probably H-Hancock...that's a name.
Crowley: It's okay, Ino, Guts is having a drama queen moment. I'm sure he'll be fine later.
Ino: [sigh] Crowley, don't call him a queen, he'll get mad.
Guts: .... [just shuts the book before he kills someone lmfao]
Rin:[Below that, she writes up a segment of the Mutenichi-ryu manifesto, in dramatic but rather well-done calligraphy given how fast it is - a bit of traditional talk about the pride and honor of the samurai. The last stroke of the brush is another half-angry violent slash.
[And then all of that is made illegible very quickly by a wash of undiluted ink.]
Joshua: [Near instantly, the exact same calligraphy, errors and pressure and spare ink-flecks and all are printed exactly as they were a few seconds ago below the wash.]
Rin:[still written:] Cute.
Joshua: Aren't you just?
Rin:[Slams journal shut.]
[Throws it across the room.]
[It falls open back on this page, of course. Rin is doing a credible imitation of Joshua, apparently for the benefit of her Arcanine or something. "Aren't you just?" (insert simper here) "~*Aren't you just?*~"]
Crowley: Didn’t you get the memo? Numbers are the new Ultimate Evil.
Billy: Numbers and bad handwriting.
Crowley: Spoooookie. Run for your life before it gets you.
Billy: Yep. That's definitely what I lie awake at night in fear about. Death by slightly unnerving and poorly-written messages.
Asuka: [la la la oblivious from the floor] Who's that?
Joshua: [Said, in a very normal tone of voice while he's on the ceiling. =| It's very possible she won't hear him.] Me.
Asuka: WHAT? Speak louder!
Joshua: [Normally. Again.] I'm afraid I can't hear you. What'd you say?
Asuka: I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Joshua: Oh! Loud and clear, that time. [A little louder.] Me.
Asuka: Me? WHO THE HELL IS 'ME'?
Zelman: [said to Joshua] I'm going to have to ruin the surprise if you keep that up.
Reno, after a girl called Gaara gay: That girl was probably just giving you a hard time, don't worry about it.
Gaara: She. . . seemed genuinely convinced and honest.
Reno: Right...
Gaara: ...
Reno: Hey, Gaara? Mind checking to see if the word 'gullible' is written on your ceiling? I've heard people been having that problem with the new critter.
Gaara: [long silence]. . . It isn't.
Reno: [a pause]Looks like we got a long way to go. Right, thanks Gaara. Just needed to know.
Gaara: [^____^] You're welcome.
Farnese: D'ye need some speakin' lessons? "Aye, aye, Cap'n."
Guts: [oh my fuck he's gonna strangle her...through grit teeth:] Aye, Cap'n.
Vergil, about Delirium: [Oh, right, you don't give straight answers. You give answers that are having spasms]
Agito: Fuck what?
Crowley: Which fuck what are you fuck whating at?
Joshua: Your horizons, Neku. They're shrinking. Look. Watch them go...
AD!Neku: I'm going to stop talking to you now.
Peter Petrelli: That sounds fabulous.
Adam Monroe: ...Did you just use the word "Fabulous"?
Excel: ARE ALL OF YOU MONKEYS THIS RUDE?
Rin:You're so condescending.
Joshua: Who's calling whom sophomoric, now?
Rin:[A pause in which she goes to consult her dictionary. =| Snippy snippy.]
Rin:Sometimes every conversation with you is like repeatedly being punched in the head.
Lavi: I bet it's just Yuu language for 'hey, Lavi, your company's the best'.
Haseo: That's... quite a leap in translation.
Thief King Bakura: You just have to know how to ask.
Miranda: .... somehow I don't suppose you're planning to use a "please" or a "thank you".
Miranda: .....
Thief King Bakura: Dot dot dot.
Tyki: What? Do you just plan to kick the door in or are you expecting me to be waiting outside? That's not very polite.
Kanda: Considering I'm going to kill you, I thought we could skip the formalities.
Squall: ... Why are there rocks on the floor of my room?
Suzumiya Haruhi: Could be aliens trying to leave you some sort of cryptic message!
Anzu: I have a name.
Thief King Bakura: I have a knife. Guess which one wins.
Peter: It wouldn't hurt you to get out and socialize....Pigeons don't count.
TRAVEL
Cordelia: If I knew all wells led to giant magical castles, I would've climbed in one ages ago.
Captain Hammer: Well, this isn't Hell, because I'm here .... but ... it's not Heaven, because Dr. Horrible is here, too .... Unless, he somehow saved a bus-load of orphans or something? No, he wouldn't do that ...Maybe he accidentally saved a bus-load of orphans?
....
No, that's not possible! I'm a superhero, I'm incapable of evil! So then, where is this place?
Maybe we're in Cleveland?
Dr. Horrible: [long-suffering sigh] Heaven, Hell, and Cleveland?? That's really what you've come up with so far?
Captain Hammer: Have you ever been in Cleveland?
Raine: I'm from a world called Aselia, myself.
Brock: What's it like there?
Raine: It's a beautiful world, actually - desert and frozen tundra to forests and oceans, geysers and hot springs, brand-new cities and cities that have stood for thousands of years. It's largely populated by humans and monsters, though there are also elves, dwarves, Summon Spirits, and others, all watched over by the World Tree and its guardian, the spirit Martel.
Brock: That sounded like Earth until you got to the elves part.
Billy, when playing Paradisa's version of Pandemic II: And, I'm not even going to go into the improbability of them shutting down their only means of transportation because someone in Brazil is sick with a symptomless disease.
Crowley: Seems they can't be too overcautious.
Billy: Yes they can! They're an island nation, with limited natural resources. How long can they really last, starving themselves out by shutting down their only port? Supplies have to get there somehow, and I'll be damned if there aren't enough diseased rodents to hop into that cargo somehow.
Crowley: I'm sure if they got desperate they could just eat all the lemurs.
Billy: [silence for a minute] ... [grumbling] ...Where's the 'lemur' transmission option?
Peter: I don't think the sparkles will kill you, Chris.
Chris: Did you miss where I said I couldn't orb, either?
Peter: Oh, Chris, that's terrible. You have to walk.
Leondias: I HAVEN'T HEARD OF THESE "JAPANESE". SOME BACKWARDS CITY-STATE, MOST LIKELY. KEEP OUT OF THIS, PEASANT.
That's all for today, catch you all tomorrow!
Today's topics are: Attraction, Dating, Sex & and All that Good Stuff; Play on Words; Communication & Manners and Travel!
ATTRACTION, DATING, SEX & AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF
Joshua: Didn't Kratos explain the birds and the bees?
Lloyd: ... huh?
Joshua: When you're older, Lloyd. Kissing's a part of it, but not too much.
Lloyd: ... You kissed birds and bees?
(While on a naked loss, holster placed strategically)
Abel: Maybe one of those double-sided signs people hang around their necks. Would that count as clothes? It might hang over your... um, 'holster.'
Tres: Negative. I cannot wear anything that will compromise the position of my holster, as my gun must be reachable and cocked within 0.21 seconds to be fully efficient.
Abel: No. No. Abel Nightroad, wake up. This is just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just... a... bad dream.
Tres: Efficiency is increased 12% if the gun is pre-cocked and ready to fire within 0.17 seconds.
Abel: Usually one buys me a drink before they start bragging about firing their guns... I'm going to Hell.
Tres: [He processes this remark for 0.87 seconds. Weighing all the possible alternatives for such a bizarre and unrelated statement, ranging from suffering a stroke (possibility of 1.4%) through to the most statistically probable based on the tone of voice and words used - flirting/innuendo (possibility of 54.1%).]
Homosexual relations are forbidden by Vatican law, Father Nightroad.
Abel: [CHOKESKJHKJH STAGGERS AND CATCHES HIMSELF] W-WHAT?!
Tres: Your previous statement was 54.1% flirtatious.
Travis: But...I think it was fate that I should see this.
Travis: Because...you see...
Joshua: [the smile on his face. it is huge.] What is it, Travis?
Travis: I have incredible NC-17 dreams about you every night.
Zelos: So I heard Colette and you are moving in together!
Lloyd: Ah, yeah... we're moving out of the castle. Considering all the bad stuff that happens, I thought it'd be a good idea. [A pause. Would Zelos even be interested?] We have room if you want to come with.
Zelos: Really? That's a nice offer, Lloyd! But I wouldn't want to interfere on any private time you might have~
Lloyd: Interfere with... what?
Zelos: Oh you know...Heh heh~ ♥
Zelos: [a pause; wait his tone was confused than and this IS Lloyd...A HEAVY SIGH]
Zelos: Or...not.
Lloyd: Well, if you're that worried about it, I'm building a shed so that I can work on stuff without waking up everyone else.
Zelos: Just...forget I said anything, bud. [He is so disappoint. So so disappoint]
[end of Pirates plot]
Isabela: I'd grab on to something if I were you!
Barney: [grabs Isabela. WHUT.]
Isabela: [she's still laughing] Good choice!
Barney: Thanks! Now shut up and kiss me, in case we die!
Misa: HEY! WHO'S BEEN WRITING THAT MISA IS SLEEPING WITH BRAD PITT?!
And Misa does too shave her legs, often and regularly!!!!
And Misa has never done nudity, those pics are a fake!!! Just look! I mean, except don't!
Whoever is responsible, Misa is gonna break your kneecap!!
Lucy Saxon to the Second Master: Oh dear. Has the Doctor not been putting out?
Joshua: Suit yourself. As for me, I'm quite content with the fact that I haven't been kissed that well in years. It'll hold me over for quite a while.
Kratos: Pray that will never happen again, lest I send you slowly and painfully to your unfortunately temporary grave.
Equius Zahhak: D --> Will you be my matesprit?
Shiki Misaki: Matesprit, that's... that one's the...
Shiki Misaki: lskdjflksfd [...Yeah, she actually does the keyboard smash sound.]
Shiki Misaki: [ohmygodomygodomigod he likes me.]
Shiki Misaki: [Oh wow, he actually likes me! That... I never thought he really would, with me being human and all!]
Shiki Misaki: [Wait, but... I'm human. Won't that reoccur to him and matter and stuff?]
Shiki Misaki: [But... but that won't matter for now, right? I mean... I can at least just have now, can't I?]
Shiki Misaki: [Like... people always run the risk of getting hurt when stuff happens. I can't just not go with it because I might get hurt, right?? Besides, I've died. I think I can deal with anything at this point.]
Shiki Misaki: [Besides... he actually likes me!!]
Shiki Misaki: [Despite what the icon looks like, she's just smiling very... serenely right now, and decides to answer simply.] ...I'd love to~
Equius Zahhak: D -->
D --> Of course you w001d
Joshua: Are things really that impossible between us? Out of the thousands of alternate realities out there, there wouldn't be a single Neku who would be happy - nay, honored - to wake up to the sight of myself in the same bed?
Neku: No. That'd have to be one twisted version. Insane puddle of desperation.
Joshua: Puddles?
Neku: No. Singular. Don't flatter yourself.
[Geoff bows deeply to Felix.]
Felix Harrowgate: No need for that, unless you plan on making use of that position. And I'm sure my lover would object.
Gaara: . . . If I care for Naruto and not women, does it mean that I am homosexual even if I do not wish to have sex?
Reno: ...What?
Gaara: A girl told me that my attachment to Naruto makes me. . . "gay." She is quite convinced. I would ask Naruto but................
Reno: [a long pause] You're only gay if you're physically attracted to another guy, Gaara.
Gaara: [equally long pause] How would I know?
Reno: Have you ever had thoughts about being with a guy beyond friendly terms?
Gaara: ........... [quoi?]
Reno: ...
Reno: Gaara, have you ever had a sexual thought...in your life?
Gaara: ...........No.
Molotov: You see? He wants to die.
Archer: Maybe if I was forced to sleep with a much older woman, yeah.
Molotov: [Molotov is grabbing Brock and forcing him back to the journal. You defend my honor right now, Samson!]
Brock: [What! Rude! Hands off, lady --] She's not even old, what the hell is wrong with you?
Archer: No one said decrepit. Didn't even say old. "Older" was the word I used.
Brock: What, you only date college girls or something, man?
Archer: I mean. Not all of them are actually in college, and less of them can afford college, but more or less.
Brock: Classy.
Abel: It's perfectly natural to have fantasies about two handsome young men like Peter and I.
Esther: Father, you're hardly a handsome young man!
Ino: Do you look at my ass often?
Kiba: ...No, why would I? ... I MEAN YES. ... No?
Rin: [Uh, derp. She's just as startled (?) as he is.] Uh...
Joshua: [Oh, he's surprised too. Have a load of that face, Rin, it's limited edition and disappears... oh, now. He smirks.] ... I didn't need a kiss, Bee, but it's reassuring to know Prince Charming was around to wake me up.
Rin: [Blinks and... frowns.] If I kissed you I think I'd have to bite my own tongue out just afterward. Yuck.
Joshua: [ahahahahhaha
Ino: You already had two whole weeks to look at as much porn as you want. And I know you were making the most of that time.
Dante: Let me savor the precious moments I still have left.
Dilan: I just couldn't resist Gatts. He's rather charming in a dress.
Sai: Ovulation is like penises?
Ino: ... Yes.
Jan: Oh, and fuck you, Petes.
Peter: Are you offering, Jan?
Mac: Is there like, a 80% lesbian population here?
Benio: When I am through with this place, yes.
Jilly: I kissed an angel. Isn't that a sin, or something?
Delysia: We didn't, did we?
Travis: I'd say it's fifty/fifty.
Delysia: I'm all for a little fun, but honestly, did you have to use handcuffs?
Travis: Whoa whoa whoa. I don't play with cuffs. Especially ones lacking a keyhole. I thought this little kink was all you.
Delysia: I may have a few kinks, but handcuffs aren't one of them.
Travis: Oh ho ho ho! Remind me to get the full scoop from you later then.
Ichigo: Renji's the one with a bigass snake for a sword! If that isn't compensating I don't know what is!
Renji: S'called advertisement, in that case.
Sai: It's big, by the way.
Sasuke: I caught you.
Lavi: Nudity?
Allen: Lavi. J-just... was that the only word you saw?
Misa: Misa thinks Lavi's hammer might be compatible with Yuu Yuu.
Lavi: Not sure about 'compatible', but it worked pretty good, keeping the guy's sword from getting just a little too close for comfort.
Misa: Everyone's first time is awkward.
Thief King Bakura: I'm not interested in either of you.
Lavi: Glad to hear it~ You're not exactly my type, either. ♥
Thief King Bakura: I try not to lead anyone on.
Kanda: I hate kids.
Lavi: Hey, it's okay if she's over ten.
Misa: Misa thinks you're a dirty boy who just likes to think about naked girls and dirty their reputations with your bad thoughts. Tsk.
Haseo: [When set up for a blind date game] "Not too bad"? I got paired with the guy that two people (or more) are trying to lynch.
Naruto: Then I suggest you be prepared to run in case they decide to step in during the date. Other than that, you're all set!
Diva: Haha... a voyeur. Please don't tell anyone about it okay? If you don't tell anyone I won't tell anyone about the forbidden love you share with your brother.
Dante: There.is.no.frobidden.love. I'd rather rip out that guys eyeballs and force them down his god damn throat.
Diva: How gruesome. Well, whatever turns you on. Everyone does their sexy stuff in different ways ♪
Jacob: This might... will sound kind of crazy, but. I feel completely drawn to you. Like our meeting was always meant to be. Like I've...Imprinted.
Bloodspill: Imprinted?
Jacob: Layman's terms would probably be like, "love at first sight."
Bloodspill: ...I'm a wolf.
Jun: [does the shh-shh-shooshy finger to mouth thing as she grins, leaning toward Delysia in a slight bit of drunken excitement] Ssshhhh, sweets. Sweets. I'll tell you my secret.
I've had an erotic dream...about someone in the castle.
Now, now I can't say who. But it's...[whispers] a woman. And, hah. And her name...Her name?
It rhymes with...Shhh...Shhhhfff...Shmalithia Famoss. [tries to be all serious.... but snickers anyway]
PLAY ON WORDS
Luke, when squeezing a melon: Hey, Tear? Are you sure this will fit? It's sort of big.
Tear: You just need to squeeze it in-- here, like this.
Luke: ... Ugh. This is harder than it looks...
Lloyd: You're not a bad influence. That place was just dumb. I mean, they freaked out when I went to the bathroom.
Jun: ...did you go in the classroom?
Lloyd: Wh-- What? No!
Jun: I'm just saying, maybe that's why they freaked out.
Lloyd: That's not what happened!
Jun: So, tell me. Why else would they get mad at that?
Willow: Remember the math. [It is a battle cry to rank up there with the Alamo!]
Katara: Come out of the closet, Zuko.
Zuko: Never.
Roy: Well, now, was that such a bad wish all on its own? His heart was pure.
Peter Parker: His heart was pure, but his mind was slow.
Roy: There's an epitaph for the ages.
Shiki: Your companions... travel with you?? [She may be only 15, and therefore, not know a lot about that kind of world. But she does know that... companions are typically only there for a night and that's it. So this confuses her lots. Maybe he's the kind of guy who will get a prostitute just to talk to her...?]
Eleven: Of course! Amy and Rory are the latest. It's the first time I've ever had a married couple on board. I must say it's been interesting.
Thief King Bakura: ...You're nuts.
Rafiki: Why yes. I would like some nuts.
Brock: Look -- hey! KNOCK IT OFF!
Dr. Venture: Good god, if Russia's full of people like her, I don't see how the hell they could've called it a Cold War.
Molotov: I just want to kill him, Brock, it's not a big deal.
River Tam: Sad, little king of a sad, little hill.
Thief King Bakura: Sadness is the furthest thing from my heart of hearts.
River Tam: Dual meaning. Meant to imply pitiable in the proper context.
Miranda: That's true! He really ought to stop taking his sword out in public - it makes people extremely uncomfortable...
Rafiki: Asande sana yuu yuu squash panda!
Rafiki: Asande sana squasha yo face.
Light: Damn it, L-kun. You're heavy.
Misa: Ew, Light. You should keep that stuff private.
Light: !!!!! M-Misa-san! It's not like that!!
Misa: Um, yeah. It sounds like you're doing it wrong. Don't tell Misa you forgot how to do that, too! No wonder Ryuzaki's been mean lately.
Deadpool: Sphincter says what?
Suetake Kenta: ... Can you Walk Like An Egyptian?
Yami no Yuugi: The idiot thief wouldn't know how to properly walk like a true Egyptian. Only high priests and Pharaohs (like me) know how.
Thief King Bakura: It must be a lot easier with those tennis shoes.
Brook: GOOD EVENING, PARADISA! So how are all of you doing this fine day?
As for me, I'm bored out of my skull!
AH! Get it? BONE JOKES FROM A SKELETON!
Jun: Sarah?
Delysia: What is it, Junbug?
Jun: What's a... gay. pride. parade?
Delysia: A parade? Oh, how exciting! They're having a parade! What a wonderful reason for a parade! I believe they're just proud that they are happy with themselves. A happiness parade!
Jun: ...is that really what it means?
Delysia: Well it must be. Look at the smiles on their faces!
COMMUNICATION & MANNERS
Ino, when she's on a communication loss: {doodle of a small badger with a sombrero}
Spike: What the hell?
Ino: {transcribed whine, followed by a doodle of a stick figure pointing to its mouth. The stick figure is then turned into a giant strawberry.}
Spike: ... damn, someone must have introduced cocaine to this place.
Ino: jhzfjfgjaashhjsaf {transcribed irritated noise}
Crowley: I have a feeling that you're about to tell me something that will make me laugh. And after I'm done laughing, you're going to tell me something that stops me from making decorative art out of your spine.
[After knocking out Albus Dumbledore when he's been brainwashed, Zoe asks what to do with him]
Fifth Doctor: [MUCH SPUTTERING IS TO BE HAD] I --- bu --- you --- who on--
Fifth Doctor: WHAT?
Zoe: I did try asking first.
Chris Perry Halliwell: Chii, don't. This guy isn't someone you should mess with.
Chii: Chii isn't sure Chris is making sense.
Chris: ...just don't worry about me.
Chii: Chii is sure Chris isn't making sense.
Gary: WHAT A CURIOUS LITTLE MEATBAG.
GLaDOS: Gary.
Gary: YES, MOTHER?
GLaDOS: What did I tell you about using that word?
Gary: DON'T JUDGE A MEATBAG BY ITS CHEMICAL COMPOSITION?
GLaDOS: Good.
Sakura: Though if you don't mind me asking, what exactly does "awesomeness" consist of?
Barney: But awesomeness? Seriously? You don't know? It's ... well. You ever see something, or hear something, or have something happen that was just undeniably great? But great wasn't a good enough word? And just having been there for that one tiny little moment made your life like, a billion times better?
That.
Is awesomeness.
Rin:Cass and I found something. A postcard... picture... note thing.
Allen: Really? What does it say?
Rin:"Don't leave your shit lying around - - Hancock". And there's a coffee stain on the corner, I think, and there's a picture of a... gazebo on here? A gazebo and cherry trees...
Rin:Or it could also say... um... Mancock I guess....It's a little hard to tell whether it's an M or an H.
Cassie: ... Mancock?
Allen:[........................] I-It's probably H-Hancock...that's a name.
Crowley: It's okay, Ino, Guts is having a drama queen moment. I'm sure he'll be fine later.
Ino: [sigh] Crowley, don't call him a queen, he'll get mad.
Guts: .... [just shuts the book before he kills someone lmfao]
Rin:[Below that, she writes up a segment of the Mutenichi-ryu manifesto, in dramatic but rather well-done calligraphy given how fast it is - a bit of traditional talk about the pride and honor of the samurai. The last stroke of the brush is another half-angry violent slash.
[And then all of that is made illegible very quickly by a wash of undiluted ink.]
Joshua: [Near instantly, the exact same calligraphy, errors and pressure and spare ink-flecks and all are printed exactly as they were a few seconds ago below the wash.]
Rin:[still written:] Cute.
Joshua: Aren't you just?
Rin:[Slams journal shut.]
[Throws it across the room.]
[It falls open back on this page, of course. Rin is doing a credible imitation of Joshua, apparently for the benefit of her Arcanine or something. "Aren't you just?" (insert simper here) "~*Aren't you just?*~"]
Crowley: Didn’t you get the memo? Numbers are the new Ultimate Evil.
Billy: Numbers and bad handwriting.
Crowley: Spoooookie. Run for your life before it gets you.
Billy: Yep. That's definitely what I lie awake at night in fear about. Death by slightly unnerving and poorly-written messages.
Asuka: [la la la oblivious from the floor] Who's that?
Joshua: [Said, in a very normal tone of voice while he's on the ceiling. =| It's very possible she won't hear him.] Me.
Asuka: WHAT? Speak louder!
Joshua: [Normally. Again.] I'm afraid I can't hear you. What'd you say?
Asuka: I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Joshua: Oh! Loud and clear, that time. [A little louder.] Me.
Asuka: Me? WHO THE HELL IS 'ME'?
Zelman: [said to Joshua] I'm going to have to ruin the surprise if you keep that up.
Reno, after a girl called Gaara gay: That girl was probably just giving you a hard time, don't worry about it.
Gaara: She. . . seemed genuinely convinced and honest.
Reno: Right...
Gaara: ...
Reno: Hey, Gaara? Mind checking to see if the word 'gullible' is written on your ceiling? I've heard people been having that problem with the new critter.
Gaara: [long silence]. . . It isn't.
Reno: [a pause]
Gaara: [^____^] You're welcome.
Farnese: D'ye need some speakin' lessons? "Aye, aye, Cap'n."
Guts: [oh my fuck he's gonna strangle her...through grit teeth:] Aye, Cap'n.
Vergil, about Delirium: [Oh, right, you don't give straight answers. You give answers that are having spasms]
Agito: Fuck what?
Crowley: Which fuck what are you fuck whating at?
Joshua: Your horizons, Neku. They're shrinking. Look. Watch them go...
AD!Neku: I'm going to stop talking to you now.
Peter Petrelli: That sounds fabulous.
Adam Monroe: ...Did you just use the word "Fabulous"?
Excel: ARE ALL OF YOU MONKEYS THIS RUDE?
Rin:You're so condescending.
Joshua: Who's calling whom sophomoric, now?
Rin:[A pause in which she goes to consult her dictionary. =| Snippy snippy.]
Rin:Sometimes every conversation with you is like repeatedly being punched in the head.
Lavi: I bet it's just Yuu language for 'hey, Lavi, your company's the best'.
Haseo: That's... quite a leap in translation.
Thief King Bakura: You just have to know how to ask.
Miranda: .... somehow I don't suppose you're planning to use a "please" or a "thank you".
Miranda: .....
Thief King Bakura: Dot dot dot.
Tyki: What? Do you just plan to kick the door in or are you expecting me to be waiting outside? That's not very polite.
Kanda: Considering I'm going to kill you, I thought we could skip the formalities.
Squall: ... Why are there rocks on the floor of my room?
Suzumiya Haruhi: Could be aliens trying to leave you some sort of cryptic message!
Anzu: I have a name.
Thief King Bakura: I have a knife. Guess which one wins.
Peter: It wouldn't hurt you to get out and socialize....Pigeons don't count.
TRAVEL
Cordelia: If I knew all wells led to giant magical castles, I would've climbed in one ages ago.
Captain Hammer: Well, this isn't Hell, because I'm here .... but ... it's not Heaven, because Dr. Horrible is here, too .... Unless, he somehow saved a bus-load of orphans or something? No, he wouldn't do that ...Maybe he accidentally saved a bus-load of orphans?
....
No, that's not possible! I'm a superhero, I'm incapable of evil! So then, where is this place?
Maybe we're in Cleveland?
Dr. Horrible: [long-suffering sigh] Heaven, Hell, and Cleveland?? That's really what you've come up with so far?
Captain Hammer: Have you ever been in Cleveland?
Raine: I'm from a world called Aselia, myself.
Brock: What's it like there?
Raine: It's a beautiful world, actually - desert and frozen tundra to forests and oceans, geysers and hot springs, brand-new cities and cities that have stood for thousands of years. It's largely populated by humans and monsters, though there are also elves, dwarves, Summon Spirits, and others, all watched over by the World Tree and its guardian, the spirit Martel.
Brock: That sounded like Earth until you got to the elves part.
Billy, when playing Paradisa's version of Pandemic II: And, I'm not even going to go into the improbability of them shutting down their only means of transportation because someone in Brazil is sick with a symptomless disease.
Crowley: Seems they can't be too overcautious.
Billy: Yes they can! They're an island nation, with limited natural resources. How long can they really last, starving themselves out by shutting down their only port? Supplies have to get there somehow, and I'll be damned if there aren't enough diseased rodents to hop into that cargo somehow.
Crowley: I'm sure if they got desperate they could just eat all the lemurs.
Billy: [silence for a minute] ... [grumbling] ...Where's the 'lemur' transmission option?
Peter: I don't think the sparkles will kill you, Chris.
Chris: Did you miss where I said I couldn't orb, either?
Peter: Oh, Chris, that's terrible. You have to walk.
Leondias: I HAVEN'T HEARD OF THESE "JAPANESE". SOME BACKWARDS CITY-STATE, MOST LIKELY. KEEP OUT OF THIS, PEASANT.
That's all for today, catch you all tomorrow!